So THIS is how it feels to be 6 months along…

Gaaah! All those things you read about but don’t believe will ever happen to you are happening to me!

Such as:

I can’t touch my toes! I can barely bend down. This must be what old, fat people feel like all the time! Do their husbands have to put sunscreen on their feet, too? Do they have to rely on beauticians to keep their toenails neat? This is a whole new world of dependency for me.

My belly-button is turning into an outie! It freaks me out.

Spicy food gives me really bad heartburn! Not that that’s stopping me from eating it.

I can’t sleep for more than two hours at a time. The sticky-outy belly keeps getting in the way. I want one of those naff 5-foot long maternity pillow things (but don’t, really).

I am feeling SO HOT. Not just because the weather’s been really warm lately: I usually deal with heat quite well. Now the summer temperatures make me want to pant, like a dog, and lie naked, belly up, under a fan. Thank the Pope for our swimming pool and my purple pool noodle.

My feet are bigger! Like, at least a whole size! So I suppose I’ve got to go out and buy a whole lot of new practical, flat shoes that Dylan will have to put on my swollen feet every morning. Luckily he loves me a lot.

I can’t get enough ice cream. I’ve never liked Magnums but suddenly I can’t think about anything but Magnum Mint for minutes at a time now. It’s getting quite serious.

I can see the baby moving around, through my clothes, even! Usually when I’m reading in bed, and it gives me a fright every time.

I am really absent-minded. Like, I was going to make this another thing that is a new and scary and only-half-expected development, but then I promptly forgot what I was going to write.

Oh, yes. I remember. My hips hurt. A friend told me when she was pregnant that she could feel her hips moving wider apart. I don’t feel anything that specific, but they do ache. So do my knees and heels and shoulders. I don’t think my frame was ever meant to carry this much extra weight – I’m only about 3kgs heavier than I was before I got knocked up but, bloody hell, it feels like much more. I’m so full of aches and pains and sighs and groans that I feel like myself fast-forwarded by fifty years.

But on a happier note, my hair is growing really fast. That’s a good thing, right?

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