This is *so* not my body

Weird stuff my previously sturdy, reliable, capable body has done since it started accommodating The Lime:

  • Needing to be put to bed by 9 pm and not a minute later.
  • Not wanting dinner, unless it contains nothing that resembles a proper vegetable (I have basically lived on grilled cheese sandwiches, spaghetti with bottled tomato sauce, and scrambled eggs for 3 months).
  • Craving roast chicken, when I have not eaten fish nor fowl for over 18 months (I gave in. Once. It was sublime).
  • Hating the smell of wine, and, on the occasion that I’ve had a sip of an ostensibly delicious white blend (before you jump down my throat, militant mothers, it was a very small sip), thinking it tastes like ethanol.
  • Shedding kilograms – 5, to be precise. My body now weighs as much as it did when I was in my 4th year at university (when I was on Herbalife, working two jobs, and busting my ass to get a 1st in my course). If I’d known that all I had to do was stop drinking and eat small toddler-friendly dinners to get back to my pre-22 weight, I wouldn’t have had to bother with all the circuits at the gym and those high-GI/low-fat nonsense ‘lifestyle changes’. My mother-friends are very quick to assure me that I’ll start picking up A LOT of weight really soon. It’s going to be hard to squash the dismay, honed over 13 years, at seeing the needle swinging ever higher on the scale.
  • Rejecting cows’ milk. Luckily that Woolworths Extra Creamy soy isn’t too bad. But still, I never wanted to be That Girl at work who keeps her soy milk in the fridge instead of using the communal dairy. It’s lame.
  • Protesting against any form of exercise. I can just about manage a forty-minute walk or gentle hike. And that’s it. I feel grossly unfit, like I’m carrying a 25kg backpack, or like I’ve got anvils for feet. Again – very, very lame. I’m used to being able to do stuff, whatever I put my mind to, and now I just can’t.
  • Crying for strange reasons. Losing to the Wallabies on Sunday was crushing, but I’m sure I wouldn’t have walked around the house sobbing for hours afterwards if not for my raging bloody hormones.
  • Growing more hair than I could possibly need, and speeding up the growth of my nails. This irritates me. I don’t like having to groom (read: file my niles and smoothe down the soft fly-away new hair that’s all over my head) so regularly.
  • Being stupid. I hardly ever lose anything, ordinarily, and am depressingly organised. Last month, I left my wallet and sunglasses in the garden for three days and had no idea where they were until Dylan brought them inside for me. I still don’t know how they got to be in the garden.

I’ve also been treated to that other stuff that the books told me to expect – needing to pee all the frikken time, having a canine sense of smell, feeling queasy. Etcetera.

All without being able to tell other people why I wasn’t keen to hit that new bar/was not able to climb Lion’s Head/had to go bed before I’d served them dessert at my dinner party/couldn’t remember where I’d saved that document.

It’s been a barrel of laughs, the last 12 weeks and 6 days. Really.

Leave a comment


  1. Erin

     /  October 12, 2011

    “Crying for strange reasons. Losing to the Wallabies on Sunday was crushing, but I’m sure I wouldn’t have walked around the house sobbing for hours afterwards if not for my raging bloody hormones.”

    LOL. Sorry, had to smile at this. I’ll be the same if we lose to them this week though I don’t have the excuse of pregnancy. πŸ˜‰

    Best wishes Mich!

  2. Shedding a few tears is one thing. Wandering aimlessly round the house bawling literally for hours is another. πŸ™‚

  3. When we were doing our aerobics course they taught us all about the pregnant body for those moms who didn’t want to max out 9 months of being glowy, and instead came to exercise. When you become pregnant, you cannot get any fitter than you were at the time you got pregnant. You can only prepare your body for pushing out something enormous.

    In the first trimester your energy levels dip badly – this is why you can’t do exercise that seemed simple only a few weeks before. Also, your joints start to loosen to allow your hips to move apart to accommodate your baby. This means you can get injured quite easily and so should avoid any sort of impact sports (kickboxing, running etc).

    In the second trimester your energy levels should return to normal. Your joints get even looser and your b body temperature goes up by two degrees. That’s why if you do decide to exercise you should wear layers, like a long sleeve over your top, which you can take off when you need to. You also cramp really easily because your baby is using up all your minerals, so it’s a good idea to eat banana before the class, and also to take along something that has balanced electrolytes to drink.

    Sadly, in the third trimester your energy levels dip again. I think this is your body telling you to lie down and rest. All the things about your joints and temperature and ability to get injured apply. Try swimming or walking, if you feel like doing anything at all.

    And that ends my lecture on aerobics. πŸ™‚

    • Thanks, Jen. This is really useful. I do plan to take up swimming soon and I have been walking quite a lot. I’ve had to stop hiking because of risk of injury, like you said. Plus my sense of balance has gone all weird! I’ve also got a prenanal yoga DVD and when I’m being all zen in my lounge I’ll be sure to wear layers – I didn’t realise that body temperature goes up in the 2nd trimester. And on the cramps – I had a hectic cramp in my foot last night for the first time in years. Maybe it’s The Shrimp’s fault. πŸ™‚ Thanks again for the advice – really, very useful.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

  • What’s been on My Bump

  • Behind the bump

  • Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: